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off we go: Scotland, Paris, Kenya

I am sitting in the airport in Paris, in what are the wee hours of the morning where I’m from. I should be asleep, or I would be if I were home – but I am not. I am bleary from dozing on a transatlantic flight, waiting out the 7 hour layover before we get on one more short flight and wind up in Aberdeen, Scotland.

I meant to write this post before I left, I meant to write many posts before I left. I am not even sure when I will post it – maybe once I get to Aberdeen and Alison’s wifi, since I only get 15 minutes of free connection here at Charles de Gaulle. I most certainly will not be purchasing more, since I already somehow ended up with $50 worth of lunch (breakfast?) that I was too embarrassed to put back once the cashier read me the total. This was also the point when I made the unfortunate discovery that my debit card didn’t work, since I forgot to tell the bank that I was traveling.

Oh well. None of it can be helped right now, and I’m not even that upset, really. Mostly because I simply can’t believe that I’m on this trip at all.

There are certainly places in every life where bad things happen – things that are so hard to live through, much less comprehend. We ask why, we try to make sense, we say it shouldn’t be. I don’t deserve this.

But then there are also things that are so unexpectedly good, such a gift, that they also don’t make sense. This trip is how that is to me – so good, it shouldn’t be. I don’t deserve this. And while I did put forth effort to make it happen, so much of it has come together – well, beyond. Further than what I could have planned. Or asked, or imagined.

I can’t believe it’s happening, that I get to go all these places with my nearly grown daughter, that I get to see dearly loved friends in Scotland, in Paris, in Africa.

I think I that I thought that I wanted to write all those posts before I left to try and explain it all – this trip, I mean – that I could write out the pieces and make them add up. When I’m grieving, I try to puzzle it out because some place in my brain thinks that if I can pin it down, I can avoid whatever it was that got me there. I think maybe I thought that with something this good, I could pin down whatever got me here and do it again. Maybe share 10 helpful tips so something like this could happen for you, too.

What ridiculousness.

It is a gift, and I am running toward it with both hands open. Right now that is simply the best thing I can do.

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We’re here! Posting this from Alison’s living room in Aberdeen, Scotland. Yippee!



 

One Comment

  1. So, so happy for you and this adventure. Can’t wait to follow along the whole way.
    XO

One Trackback

  1. By In The Pipeline Chino House 14 Jun ’14 at 3:15 am